Here, charge these batteries for the flashlight.
The Dibben Dip
I have seen hundreds of water baptisms in my lifetime. I have spent just about every Sunday morning for the last forty years of my life in church services. Over those years my favorite baptisms were the ones where the pastors were able to baptize their own kids. At our last church, parents were encouraged to baptize their own kids, so when Lydia and Jessica decided to be baptized I took advantage of the opportunity and baptized them both. It was a great experience for us all.
A couple of months ago Elaina told me she was interested in being baptized. She is such a daddy’s girl that I knew she would agree to let me baptize her. Since joining our current church about four years ago, I haven’t seen anyone besides our pastoral staff baptize anyone. I approached the leadership team and got permission to baptize Elaina.
I don’t usually get very nervous, but last Sunday we were both pretty nervous as we sat through the quick baptism class during Sunday school. There was a pretty small group of us in the class. Pastor Barry went through all the instructions. He explained what the baptizer would say and what the baptizee was supposed to say in response. We then went on a tour of the baptismal in the main auditorium.
Our church does the baptisms half way through the worship service, so we were instructed to find our way to the baptismal at the start of worship. Once the music began, Elaina and I made our way behind the stage. Everyone was engaged in nervous chatter. Our youth leader, Pastor Brandon, would be performing all the baptisms so he kept us engaged in small talk. Elaina was noticeably nervous, so I rehearsed all the movements and our lines with her. We were third in line, and when Pastor Brandon announced us as a tandem I moved into the baptismal first and announced her. The lights were bright but low enough for us to see the thousand, or so, people in the auditorium. It was a little overwhelming, but we were ready.
“Good morning,” I started, “this is my daughter, Elaina Dibben. I had the pleasure of baptizing our two older daughters, so I wanted to baptize Elaina as well.”
Elaina moved down into the warm water with me, and I turned her towards the audience and motioned towards them with my left hand.
“Elaina, before God and these witnesses, do you publicly profess Jesus Christ as your Lord And Savior?”
“Yes,” she said so loudly we got a few giggles from the crowd!
I helped her rotate to the left into the traditional baptizing position. She lifted her left hand to her nose; I placed my right hand behind her back and put my left hand over her nose to help keep it closed. She turned her head to look at me, I made eye contact with her and continued.
“Elaina, upon your profession of faith I now baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”
We made eye contact, she smiled at me, and I lowered her backwards into the water. She closed her eyes just as the water rushed over her face. As I raised her back into a standing position Amanda Lapore took this photo.
I don’t even remember who baptized me. I barely remember where I was baptized. A baptism needs to be more memorable, and I can’t think of a more memorable way than to have your own dad baptize you. I would love to make this more common in our church. I want to see more fathers step up and baptize their children.
Elaina and I will certainly make a lot more great memories together. I don’t expect very many of them will be as memorable as December 29, 2013.
A hygiene conversation
Julie: “When was the last time you took a shower?”
Elaina: “Sunday”
Julie: “The baptism doesn’t count.”
Elaina: “Oh”
Said Anjelia
We only use a quarter of our brains so yeah, we are idiots.
Movie Response: Saving Mr Banks
If I were to sit down and take inventory of my all-time-favorite moves, the classic “Mary Poppins” would make its way into the top ten. I have loved that movie since I was a kid. I love Dick Van Dyke and the way he presents himself on screen. I love Julie Andrews’ voice and the way she can be funny with a stern look on her face. I try to make room for this film at least once a year. It’s one of those movies where you learn something new about the characters every time you watch it.
When I watched it earlier this year I remember being a little caught off guard by the ending. Like many of these films from that era it is quite long at two hours and nineteen minutes. I confess that many times I am considerably distracted by the time I reach the last bit of the movie. Often I don’t even finish the last half hour as the evening has gotten away from me.
If you recall, the end of “Mary Poppins” gets a little dark. Jane and Michael just finished causing a “run” on the bank where Mr. Banks is employed, and he is on his way to face the bank board and his impending dismissal. It’s at this low point in the film where Mr. Banks finally lets the joy and wonderment that Mary Poppins has brought into the home overtake him. He rushes home, repairs a broken kite, and takes Jane and Michael out to play. Earlier this year this scene finally made sense to me. This movie has never been about the kids, it’s about their dad. It has always been about their dad. I have been watching this movie for forty years and I finally got it!
Having finally “got it” this last spring, I was ecstatic when I saw the trailer for “Saving Mr. Banks.” It quickly became my must-see movie for this year, and last night we were able to attend a showing. I was really excited to discover who Mr. Banks was, and why he needed saving. I was not prepared for how deeply emotional this film would be. The trailers don’t even come close to revealing what this film is about. The film spent as much time in Ms. Travers childhood as it did with her and Walt in 1966. We discover the deep and painful inspiration that drove her to write the “Mary Poppins” series.
I don’t want to spoil everything about this film for you, but I wouldn’t even be writing this review if “Saving Mr. Banks” didn’t relate directly to the overall theme of my writing. Walt Disney and P.L. Travers share something in common with each other; they both had deeply troubled fathers. Through the film “Mary Poppins” both P.L. Travers and Walt Disney wanted to honor the kind of fathers they knew their dads wanted to be, but for various reasons were unable to become. They did something that is in really short supply these days. They honored men who did not always act in very honorable ways.
I have a great dad. He would be the first to tell you he wasn’t perfect. Before I had kids of my own I was more critical of him than I should have been. It’s easier to criticize someone when you have no idea what it’s like to live their life. I’m not critical of him anymore. It’s a hard job, and no matter how hard a man tries he will fall short. I have made a pile of my own mistakes. I’ve yelled, I’ve slammed doors in frustration, I’ve thrown my arms up in disgust, and I’ve said the wrong things at the wrong time.
My hope is that when my daughters get older they will choose to focus on what I did right, and show me grace in the areas where I didn’t do such a great job. I don’t expect them to write books or make movies about me. I’ll just be happy if they still want to spend time with an old man who did the best he could for the girls he loved.
Said Anjelia
Do MU fans like to drink tea?
My Dad Died
Last Saturday our church held its very first Foster Parent Day Out. We provided a place for foster parents to drop off their kids long enough to get some time to themselves to accomplish whatever they needed. We hosted about fifty kids from 11:00AM till 4:00PM. There were activities for every age. Kids from all over the Jackson County area came and spent the day playing foosball, air hockey, pool and the Wii. There were movies, a gym, crafts and fresh popcorn from a local theater.
I spent the last couple hours of the day at the rock wall in the Kids Zone. The Kids Zone is where we have our weekly children’s service. There is a ping pong table, two foosball tables, two air hockey tables, and in the back of the room, a rock wall that is at least fifteen feet wide and just as tall. When the rock wall is open, there is generally a pretty long line of kids dressed in safety gear ready to go. Last Saturday was no exception, especially since most of these kids have never had the chance to climb a rock wall before.
The oldest kids in our area were about ten, which is a perfect age for the rock wall. To a ten-year-old that wall is four times their height. It must appear massive in size, and it must seem like a real challenge. I spent the last two hours of the day hoisting a group of about four girls up and down that rock wall. My youngest daughter, Anjelia, was in the group as well. Being ten herself, she hit it off with them instantly.
With about an hour left in the day one of the girls looked at Anjelia, motioned towards me and said, “Is he your dad?” Anjelia answered in the affirmative. Without any hesitation the little girl looked at me and said, “My dad died.” She said it so quickly and so matter-of-factly that I was stunned. All I could think to say was, “Oh, I’m sorry.” She shrugged her shoulders and began climbing the wall. With tears welling up in my eyes I pulled on the rope as quickly and smoothly as I could. She flew to the top of the rock wall, giggling the entire way. I held her steady at the top of the wall. She spun herself around and looked out across the room and gave me a smile. I was ready to adopt her on the spot. I wanted to snatch her up in my arms and promise to be her dad forever. I would have signed the paperwork that very second. I know I can’t replace her birth father, but I was ready to give her 100% of my effort till the day I die.
For the last couple of years I have played around with the idea of adopting a son. Not right away, but eventually for sure. The idea of raising a son sounds fun. A different set of challenges and a different set of rewards. Completely new territory. After Saturday I just don’t feel the same way. I realized that after over fifteen years of being a dad to daughters, I have a hard time visualizing myself doing anything else.
I’m used to it all the Barbie dolls and teddy bears. The tiaras and princess dresses. The various sizes of of ladies undergarments slung all over the bathroom floors. The long-hair-filled brushes and clogged drains. The trash cans overflowing with feminine hygiene products. The long waits on Sunday mornings while five women jockey for mirror and bathroom time. The posters and magazine photos of boy bands taped up on all the room walls. The seemingly never ending text messages from gentlemen callers, and the frequent slumber parties complete with boisterous giggling.
At one time I was hopeful that raising a son was in my future. Last Saturday reminded me that I was meant to do something else. I was meant to raise women.
She Waits
She sits quietly on the sofa. Her legs are crossed with her left leg over the top of her right. She reminds me of a business woman reading the newspaper while sitting on a park bench. Every few seconds her left leg swings up in a slight kicking motion. It’s a very rhythmic movement, yet I don’t think she is aware she is doing it. She’s reading one of the books from her book club. She reads a lot, but I can tell she is patiently waiting.
She only reads to occupy her time. She’s really just waiting on me. Waiting for me to invite her to watch a little Doctor Who. It’s her favorite show, although she refuses to watch it alone. She would rather watch it with me. Every few days she walks up to me and asks, “Can we watch some Doctor Who soon?” I always say, “Yes, we will watch some Doctor Who soon.” She smiles back at me, nods her head and goes back to whatever she is doing. Today she’s reading.
There is always something else for me to do. Something else to take me away from my promise. Her older sisters push harder to get what they want, and for some reason they can make what they want sound so much more…necessary. So much more important. Elaina just makes her request in that low, relaxed tone that I am very comfortable with. Maybe I’m a little too comfortable.
Eventually, she will quit waiting.
Eventually, she will quit asking.
I return to the living room where she is sitting. “Let’s go watch a couple episodes of Doctor Who,” I invite her. Without making a sound she calmly places her book on the sofa beside her, rises to meet me, and I escort her to mom and dad’s room where we lose ourselves to a few hours of entertainment.
Three things I learned from my first official boy friend interview
“So what did you two talk about?”
Jessica had the biggest smile I have ever seen on her face.
“Oh, we just talked about stuff,” I answered.
Jessica continued her massive smile and held her hands up above her head.
“He isn’t telling me anything either!” she exclaimed.
“You know,” I told her “we guys can have man-to-man talks and we don’t have to tell you women anything.”
A couple of months ago a friend of mine at church gave me the book “Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date”. I was glad to receive the book, but I wasn’t planning on needing it for my fourteen-year-old daughter. I figured I would need it for my oldest daughter who will be turning sixteen next spring. The rules at our home don’t allow dating until the age of sixteen. That is something I don’t plan on changing any time soon. In fact, I would push it to eighteen if I thought they would be compliant.
Still, girls and boys will like each other. In the face of this reality I had two choices when I discovered a blossoming relationship between Jessica and Bryce. I could either set myself at odds with the two of them and create a forbidden love type of situation, or I could embrace the fact that these two young adults like each other, and become an engaged participant.
I decided the smartest thing to do was to invite this young gentleman to a meeting, so last Friday we met at the local McDonald’s for a visit. I learned some valuable lessons during this meeting and I thought it would be fun, and maybe helpful for someone, to share them here.
1. Young adults don’t like talking about the rules.
I guess this is something I should have known ahead of time, but I didn’t. After Bryce and I made some introductions I began to share our house rules with him. These rules are pretty straight forward, and both of my older daughters are quite familiar with them. I was very surprised to find out how uninformed he was. Someone at work today told me, “It’s just not cool to sit with your friends and talk about your family rules.” That seems kind of obvious to me now, but it wasn’t as obvious last week.
2. Everyone is scared.
All week long Jessica kept telling me how scared Bryce was to be meeting with me. I told her more than once it wasn’t my plan to just try to scare him away. When I pulled into the parking lot of McDonald’s my heart was racing quite a bit as well. I started our conversation by getting him to tell me a little bit about his family. We both seemed to relax a little during this part of the interview.
3. This meeting wasn’t just about protecting Jessica.
It’s pretty easy for most dads to get focused on protecting our perfect little angel daughters, and I’m no exception. As last Friday drew closer, I started to realize that this meeting was just as much about this young man as it was about the young woman I love so much. Once I realized that Bryce had unknowingly violated a couple of our family rules, I realized that he needed some important advice. Before your imagination gets away from you please understand that these rule violations were very minor in nature. They are just a couple of simple boundaries we keep with all our children. Anyway, I looked at Bryce and told him, “Never let a young lady talk you into violating rules you don’t even know exist.” Jessica is an awesome daughter, and I am blessed to have her in my life. Still, she had talked Bryce into a couple of things that she knew were against our rules. I’m not coming down on her heavily. She’s human and prone to making mistakes just like the rest of us.
As we finished up our meeting I looked Bryce in the eyes and asked him, “So what do you think?” He looked at me, and with a very somber face said, “I will obey your rules.” I could tell he was very serious.
Over the last week he has proven his character. I have seen a couple of simple changes that demonstrated to me how seriously he took our meeting. The changes he made were things that, if he had wanted, could have been kept a secret from Julie and me. He chose instead to take a less traveled path and honor my wishes even though I was oblivious to the circumstances. I communicated with him in a text message that I was indeed impressed with his decisions.
It’s scary to see my daughters interested in boys who aren’t part of some famous band. When it’s just a poster on the wall, it’s not very disconcerting. When they start liking boys right here in our own community, it’s unnerving. Sitting down with a young man and having a 30-minute conversation has done wonders for everyone involved.
I think we have all grown up a little bit this last week. A young man knows the rules, a young women knows her dad isn’t out to get her, and an old man knows his daughter chooses young men who have some character.
Making Memories
Do you like stuff?
I love stuff. I love cell phones, computers, video games, iPods, kindles, books and just about anything electrical. I love puzzle cubes, new TVs, printers and office supplies.
A few years ago a close friend told us, “Spend your money making memories, not buying things.” Some years I’ve been successful at this task, and other years I haven’t been as successful. Yesterday, I was successful. Yesterday, I took Lydia to the Kansas City Japan Festival at Johnson County Community College.
Over the last several years Lydia has developed a love for Japanese culture. Her deepest passion has been for Japanese Anime. Her room walls are covered by a dozen or so posters from a variety of shows. The Japanese culture has had a very positive affect on Lydia. Many of these Anime shows have a powerful family overtone in them. The Japanese culture is very family driven overall, and Lydia has really embraced this ideal. Her desire for closer family relationships has really blossomed as a result of her love for this culture.
Lydia wasn’t the only Anime fan in attendance. There were at least a hundred people of all ages running around in costume. Lydia posed with as many as possible. Everyone was very accommodating.
Honey Senpi
Black Butler
Black Butler
Bleach
Miku & Other
Attack On Titan
Soul Eater
Lydia even had a chance to meet a singing artist from Japan, Aya Uchida. She convinced her to do some poses together.
I was able to get her name written in Japanese.
She had a chance to paint her own Anime Frame.
In the book “The Five Love Languages of Teenagers” Gary Chapman says that real quality time with our teens is more about what they want to do than what we want to do (pg 87). Yesterday was a powerful example of this truth. I spent an entire day with my daughter exploring what she is passionate about. She told me several times it was a day she will never forget.
None of the stuff I’ve ever purchased has told me that.
