Category Archives: Journal

Journal

Journal: Wreck-It Dad

The family dynamic at our house is an interesting one. Lydia and Jessica are just a year apart. Because of their age they place a higher demand on my time than the two younger ones.

This last Friday there was a women’s summit at our church. Julie, Lydia and Jessica went to that and I was left with Elaina and Anjelia.

I decided it would be fun to take the two of them (and one of Elaina’s friends) to see the new Disney Movie: Wreck-It Ralph.

The girls wanted a little adventure so they grabbed their smuggling bags (aka purses) and we headed to Walgreens to purchase some candy.

candy
The loot!

Elaina and her friend picked a spot along the edge of the theater with just two seats, and Anjelia sat in the center of the room with me.

*Warning! The following is full of all kinds of movie spoilers!*

I’m a sucker for movies that have little girls as main characters. “Wreck-It Ralph” was perfect for last Friday’s entertainment choice.

After thirty years of being the bad guy Ralph is fed up with being unappreciated by everyone else in his arcade game. At the end of each work day Ralph has to spend the night on the pile of rubble he has created during his work day. Everyone else gets to have a party in the house he spends his days trying to knock down. The reason Ralph has to hang by himself? He isn’t the hero of the game.

In a moment of frustration Ralph crashes one of the parties. Some of the other game characters explain that he cannot be a part of the party because he isn’t a hero. The proof of his lack of hero-ness? Ralph doesn’t have a gold medal. If he can just get a gold medal he will finally be accepted by all the other heroes in all the games.

Ralph’s solution is to crash another game and grab the grand prize: A Gold Medal.

Ralph is a big guy, and even though the game he decides to crash is violent and full of really powerful monsters he easily grabs the medal. Once he has the medal in his hands he quickly jumps into an escape pod. In his attempt to escape he crashes into a completely different game and is introduced to Vanellope von Schweetz. She is a little girl who shares some of Ralph’s same desires: friendship, success and recognition.

During Ralph’s first encounter with Vanellope he loses his gold medal and the two realize they will have to team up if he is to get his medal and she is to win her race. Through the course of the film we watch as a really big guy and little girl build a friendship while trying to accomplish similar goals. Ralph gains his hero status but not in the way he thought he would.

As I walked out of this film with three wonderful girls, I was left to consider my own attempts to be a hero. I believe most dads want to be heroes to their daughters. We seem to get caught up in the idea that the position of hero can be taken. Just like Ralph we think we can get to the top using brute force. Ralph thought being a hero could be taken.

At one point in the film Vanellope gave Ralph a homemade medal made out of a cookie. The cookie was of greater value than the gold medal because it wasn’t taken; it was given. Ralph thought the best way to become a hero was a shortcut using brute force. He learned that real heroes have to sacrifice time, energy and potentially their own personal goals while helping those around them.

There are no shortcuts on the road to being a hero dad either. We can’t wreck our way to the top and take possession of our daughters’ hearts. Much like Ralph we have to earn the position of hero. We will have to sacrifice time and energy. We may even have to put our own goals and desires aside for a time while we help guide and direct.

Being a hero isn’t about what we can prove. It’s about who we are helping.

Journal

Journal: April Babies

1 Comment

This wasn’t the normal kind of crying I have ever experienced while watching a movie.

Yesterday afternoon Julie and I sat down with our two oldest daughters to watch October Baby.

Julie, Lydia and Jessica went to watch it in the theater last fall and loved it. I knew I would enjoy it as well, but I was not prepared for how emotional the living room was going to become during this film.

When it comes to the heavy issue of choosing life over abortion our family doesn’t just share opinions; we have lived it out.

Lydia and Jessica are both adopted. Their beginnings could have been violently stopped if their birth mothers had made their decisions based on what popular culture would have told them.

Both girls’ birth mothers were victims of poverty. Both birth mothers had no support from family or friends. Both birth mothers could have chosen an abortion center over taking a baby to full term. Both birth mothers picked another path. A path which allowed Julie and I to adopt these two beautiful girls into our family. They allowed God to work the kinds of miracles only He can work, because these women chose life.

As the four of us watched October Baby together there were not just red eyes and a few wet cheeks. No, our living room was full of audible weeping. Like no movie we have watched together this one dealt with so many of the emotions all four of us have dealt with, are currently dealing with, or will some day have to confront.

Julie and I know what it is like to burn with a passionate desire to have a family, but fall short in our own abilities. We know what it is like to have that desire fulfilled through God’s divine providence.

We know that both of our daughters struggle to understand their own personal stories. We know they are trying to balance their current lives with what their lives might have been like. Sometimes they ask us point blank, and sometimes they write about it and share those writings with us.

At the end of October Baby Hannah runs up to her dad, gives him a big hug and says: “Thank you.”

“What for?” was her father’s answer.

Hannah looked into her dad’s eyes and said: “For wanting me.”

That moment in the film moved me so deeply that I started weeping out loud.

Lydia and Jessica: You are both wanted, and no one else on earth could possibly want you for daughters more than I do.

lydia and jessica
Lydia and Jessica

Why am I pro-life? Because in April of 1998 and 1999 two complete strangers decided they were, and the lives of thousands of people will be better for it.